An ode to finals week in the spirit of “The Night Before Christmas.” ‘Twas the week before finals, and all through the town / Not a student was drinking, not a frat made a sound…
‘Twas the week before finals, and all through the town
Not a student was drinking, not a frat made a sound
The adderall popped and the coffee was drank
In hopes that your mind won’t suddenly blank
The guys and the chicks depart from their beds
While visions of passing danced around in their heads
Crammed cafes and library dates
Regretting the days that you slept in late
While out on the campus there struck a big nerve
Of Asian kids sprinting to screw up the curve
The readings you ignored pile up to the ceiling
Our asses are saved by Wikipedia stealing
Time home for Thanksgiving was a bittersweet tease
Come back to find College screwing you on your knees
Facebook and Twitter prove a hefty temptation
Earning your citizenship in the procrasti-NATION
Increasingly worrisome for that borderline class
Friday nights out made it impossible to pass
All the moments we said “at least I have time”
Well the time has come…. did you do it? Neither did I.
Stressed and starved and screwed and sorry
That we skipped lecture to eat Chipotle and watch Maury
Sit down to find that you forgot your ID
…and your blue book, and pencil, and scantron–F*** ME!
Exams handed out, the questions complex
Pray that it’s over, like a night of bad sex
Winter break so close we can almost taste it
High School friends, kegs, spending every night wasted
Eyes begin wandering while we’re cramped in our seats
That one kid is dragged out for trying to cheat
Smelly dude next to me, chill bro you’re fine!
Lord knows that your grade will be better than mine
Hand in the exam, relieved that it’s done
It’s been real, Econ 100, but the furthest from fun
One down, three to go, and to all that relate:
HAPPY FINALS TO ALL, AND TO ALL PASSING GRADES!
I need a beer.